Friday, November 12, 2010

why say "no"when you want to say "yes"

I am not speaking about  the famous book "don't say yes when you want to say no"written by Herbert and Jean .well, this title is contrary to that.Have I confused you?well that was not my intention though! We  would have read a lot of books inspiring or motivating us for 'optimism',strategies to overcome the 'inferiority complex' within us and transform us into an " ideal figure" to be an  example to the aspiring .It's always good to develop confidence within us and have a sense of assertiveness;but have you all noticed that there would be times when the 'assertiveness' could be just for the sake of it ;or 'confidence' could be just 'over  confidence '.
                 There may be several situations in life where we tend not to give up at any cost even  though we may not be in the right path.A sense of unbound confidence tends to envelope us and also dominate our senses.We wouldn't agree to the circumstance even though  the situation would demand that.Our "ego"seems to overrule our "instinct";and the consequence would be "no"to a "yes".Humility would never  humiliate us!But we sometimes seem to forget this, and so I quote here"do not say' no'when you want to say 'yes'.

29 comments:

KParthasarathi said...

It is very tricky.When something is not in the right path , it is better to heed to the warning by the instinct than the suggestion from head aka ego.
Though short and crisp it has given ample food for thought

Abhilash Pillai said...

that was a nice topic. Ego.. not good at all and not like by others is to be avoided... is it possible? would be a hard question to answer. :)

I will keep this in mind that whenever I have to say yes, I say 'yes'... and no 'no'

Mangala said...

Thoughtful n nice!

Stranger said...

You are right...Right now I am going through such a phase and I think I will change my decision after reading your post.

chitra said...

Ego is there in every one.Even though we learn, read, hear so many things, it's difficult to overcome this giant EGO which spells problems in life.

david said...

A super ego making us blind? Perhaps...
There is a famous quote that says "To err is human ".
But here in Brazil, people increased some words in the same, I don't know if also happened the same in English
" To err is human but to persist in error is stupid "

Very interessant your post!!!

raji said...

@Kp sir yes what you said is absolutely right ...thanks .

@abhi.i know it's very difficult to practise .even i try hard to overcome
.
@mangala and chitra , thanks for the comments
.
@stranger,true most of us go through this phase,and i will be very happy if my post inspires someone!

@david,thanks for visiting.I liked the quote"to err is human ,but persist in error is stupid" you said what i meant.thanks.

Rachna said...

It is an interesting thought! Could it be that the "no" is said to give oneself more time to be sure of the "yes."

raji said...

@rachna,yes many a times it may be a"no" when we aren't sure or in a waiting period;it would never be "iam not sure " though!

SG said...

Nice interesting post. Whether we say "yes" or "no", i think it should come from our brain and not from our mind.

raji said...

@sg.Thanks for your opinion.I feel brain can tend to mislead us at times..:)

A said...

Raji,

Superb post. I completely agree with you. Honestly I never say NO when YES is the answer....life is too short

anupama said...

we might recognize our mistakes and follies.. but to accept " yes i was wrong", takes a lot of maturity. sometimes we even say 'NO' to ourselves when actually it should be YEs....

i like the qoute "Humility would never humiliate us"

nice post Raji!

raji said...

@A great sir..i like it...that's how it should be!well iam too trying hard to do this!:)

bhawna said...

Interesting note…Sometimes we fail to understand how our Psychology works…Thanks for visiting…Look forward to read more of your posts…My heart is "Deep" don't know if it is Big or not as you said :)..Cheers!

raji said...

@anu,yes even Iam trying to be mature :)or courageous as you said..And that quote was my own..,which I always feel and I try to console myself if I feel a litlle low after saying the "yes".

sawan said...

i sure agree. wish i cud practice that very often!

Bikramjit said...

yeah so true.. In my job we call it Red mist when we think we are invinscible and go after someone.. not taking in consideration what is going on or what will happen

SO yeah sometimes its good idea to STOP, look around and SEE , assess and then take the next STEP :)

Bikram's

AJEYA RAO said...

Nice post Raji....I agree with you...my experience has taught me to say - Yes or No with my own wish and not by obligation...Your post is in similar lines i guess.

dr.antony said...

Raji,
Honestly I didnt quite get the point.Often in life,the opposite happens.We tend to say "yes" to many things,in place of a big "No". The same ego works there too. I even wrote a blog some time back, "Learn to say No",because I have learned,it saves lots of troubles at later times. Unless some one is so negative, I cant think of a circumstance like you mentioned.

....Petty Witter said...

Thanks for a thought provoking post - I'm sure Husband dearest and I will discuss it at length later tonight. I don't know about saying no when you want to say yes as I'm another of those who always finds myself saying yes when I mean no.

raji said...

@bhawna ..true we are so weird some time!

@BIKRA ..NICE TERM "RED MIST":)

@Ajeya,That's nice Ajeya that you decide by a thoughtful approach.

@dr anthony,learn to say "no" is a well known strategy.we donot want to be compelled or not want to hurt sentiment's of other's and we would say "yes",which is not a right practice.But what I was trying to tell was certain situations in life where we may no be ready to accept facts,or agree to our misakes due to ego problems and feel that we may be "embarassed".But the fact is that ,that humility to say "yes"would not humiliate us.

raji said...

@ petty ,thanks.that's nice that you have never come across such situations!It is just a reflection of a good personality.

david said...

You asked me about my Muse but that day I did not really know what to say. Now I feel more relaxed:)

The truth is that I haven't a Muse beside me, someone I can relate with the way I talked in that post. Actually the post was more a rant about something I wish existed in my life. The one thing I really wish happen to me. Find a person to mark me that way.

However, there is a girl who inspires me, who I met at BlogWorld. She is one of the most passionate people I've met and write beautiful things.
And she talks to me a lot :)
So I look up and wonder what it would be have someone like her by my side.

I know that seems very silly, but I need somewhere to dream.

I hope I'm not bothering you babbling here.
And thank you for your interest, I am very glad you asked :D

ps: If you want to visit the girl I talked about this is the adress:
http://annasergi.blogspot.com/

Amin said...

Very thoughtful...

raji said...

@david..so that's the secret!good to know your muse and the feelings you felt for her.

raji said...

thanks amin.

Alka Gurha said...

thought provoking....

Amin said...

Thanks for Your comments....