Friday, November 5, 2010

What do you call it as?

Today's occasion reminded me of the good old days of my 'pre-marriage' and thought of penning down a few words.I was doing my college near Mangalore and had a common relative at the same place who was a mediator between the 2 families  for our marriage.I had not still completed my studies and had 8 months to finish my final exams .Inspite of this,the social obligations and parental pressure had  compelled me to agree to the marriage ;with a "condition" imposed to the guy's family that they had to wait for 8 months for me to complete my studies.Amidst the agreements and talks regarding the proposal ,we were in the process of acquaintance with each other.Slowly time passed on and we grew close to each other ,my "proposed to be hubby"used to come to the hostel to meet me ,we used to hang  out ,meet at restaurants,parks ,and also had long long telephone conversations.The funny part was that my fiance who was a "very silent introvert guy" ,had 1 hour to 2 hour  dedicated time everyday exclusively for me,and all his relatives and friends were amazed with the perception of him calling to a girl and  having such long chats.There  was a strange bond and feeling of compassion,possession  between us . 
             We were  having a discussion on this matter with our mutual friends yesterday night ;and for a coincidence,even they had a similar story  to share .They too had seen each other at a common friend's place with an intention of marriage proposal ,and then the marriage was kept on "hold" for 2 years due to some personal reasons.Despite this, they used to meet ,have telephone conversations and "feelings" of a true'Romeo Juliet ' love story.Then they married and are a happy couple now.So ,as we were in the process of reminiscence,we all got into a 'sweet argument 'questioning the tag to be associated with such marriages.would it be tagged as"love" or "arranged"marriage?Well ,"arranged love marriage " or "love cum arranged marriage" seems little absurd for me.Meanwhile,the occasion  for this argument was our " 7th marriage anniversary".
          

19 comments:

A said...

Good post Raji !!!

Give it some more years. There will not be any arguments. Your husband will learn NEVER to ARGUE. He needs some training though..it is taking him some time. HAHAHA:))

Happy argumentative wedding anniversary.

raji said...

HeHE.. well experience speaks a lot!I can see it "a".Thanks for the wishes .

ASHWINI said...

Raji...Finally we named it as "Forced Love Marriage"

raji said...

oh yes ashwini..!we were forced /compelled to "love":)

rama said...

Many happy returns of the day. And Happy Diwali to you and your family. Well arranged or love marriage we finally have one man to nag him for the rest of our lives : that is main point to keep in mind.
Have fun Raji, wishing all the very best in life. Rama.

Stranger said...

Lol..we too can confirm a forced arrange marriage and similar to yours we too used to talk for long hours.

The time we got between engagement and wedding was just 20 days but my father had to pay nearly 10,000 Rs telephone bill that month. It happened 14years back so you can imagine how long we would have talked each day.

Hi...A, we still argue a lot. some of my new friends still ask, whether we had love marriage. Even our kids...lol..and we say yes..we started loving after marriage...

Thanks Raji...for bringing it all back to us...

SG said...

Happy Marriage Anniversary. I am sure you know this. Still, i want to remind you that the traditional gift for 7th marriage anniversary is either wool or copper.

Pythoroshan said...

Happy Anniversary... always nice to read such real life "arranged love" stories :)

Pythoroshan said...

ironically i recently came across a unique case of the exact opposite.. "arranged" strangers pretending to be a "love" marriage... to fool his parents cos they had someone else set up for him whom he didnt want.

dr.antony said...

Happy Annivesary.Arguments are the fire of life.But cool it before you go to bed.

raji said...

Hi rama,your point is really right;one person to be nagged whole life,true:)
Hi stranger,your incident was also memorable .thanks for wishes.
@SG,I NEVER KNEW..WHAT IS THE IMPORATNACE OF WOOL AND COPPER?
@ROSHAN ,THANKS FOR VISITING MY BLOG.NICE STORY FROM YOUR SIDE.SUCH PEOPLE HAVING "FAKE"LOVE STORIES ALSO!
@DR ANTHONY ,THANKS FOR THE WISHES AND SUGGESTION:)

anupama said...

Hey! Forced Love Marriage seems appropriate... and u know that it is the case here too... but very happy that.. i gave in to this FORCE...

Happy Anniversary

Rachna said...

Have you noticed that most arranged marriages in India work this way at least in our generation? It would be absurd to suddenly start living with a guy or a girl without knowing him/her at all. There is a lot of fun in slow acquaintance :). Happy Anniversary to you. Have a great time!

raji said...

Yes..things are changing as of now..and most people have this concept of dating and "knowing each other"before marriage.Thanks for the wishes.

raji said...

Yes..things are changing as of now..and most people have this concept of dating and "knowing each other"before marriage.Thanks for the wishes.

Mangala said...

Happy Anniversary! Ours is a love marriage, arranged by parents. The courtship time is indeed a great time, isn't it?? You feel you are on top of the world with nothing to worry about, nothing to think about except loving each other as if there is no tomorrow.

R u from Mangalore? I am from Mangalore too. Moved to Mumbai after marriage.

KParthasarathi said...

Marriage in waiting is more appropriate.It is a two edged sword.The bonding may get closer with frequent contacts and exchange of views or the novelty may wear thin with seamier side becoming pronounced.That is why it is said 'Subhasya seekram'
First visit.Nice blog and nice post

rohini said...

:))) nice post Raji....after marraige arguments are nt limited to any type of mariage..they hapne..better to solve at right time and live happily..hai na...

and yes thnx for visiting and leaving a comment on my post..thnx..hope ur next visit soon...thnx:)

Amin said...

Interesting post and beautiful comments...
Happy Anniversary!