Friday, October 8, 2010

WHEN THE TURMOIL STRIKES....

Have you all wondered many a times in life "why only me of all?".yes this is what we question most of the times when we are succumbed to some critical situations in life.I used  to feel once that its only me who is always in trouble ,but then it's a coincidence that I have acquainted/witnessed  some real life stories which have inspired me to face the challenges in life.
    
      This is a story of a gal who lived her life like a princess with all the royalties and pleasures in life ;and why not ?she was the daughter of a person who himself lived  a life of a " king "and was respected by the entire society .Hailing from a traditional Brahman family ,she had to get married early and there was a hurdle to the process of looking for a right mate.Every proposal she received would be deceived from her through a family enemy ;and so eventually she was forcefully married to a guy with an unappealing education ,position ,status and also appearance and attitude.She tried to be as compatible and accommodated herself to the new environment ;but fate had a bad game for her in treasure. Time moved on and she had 2 kids in her hand and managed both work and home ;but poor husband had no time for her and her kids.He was too busy with his college lectures,tuition's and his own commitments;the zest for money overruled emotions and there was turbulence at home.Finally the person reached up to the point of physical violence and asking for a share of his belongings from the home;he wanted a separation,an unofficial divorce.This stage went on for a few years;meanwhile the lady  had to find ways to mange her 2 kids ,their education and well being.She moved to a different city requesting for a transfer and also a higher wage ,and managed to achieve that.Eventually over the years she had a divorce from the person ,and he was also least bothered about the kids.She achieved new horizons in life from the career perspective now,manged to even buy a flat through a loan and also give good education to the kids in a very good school.Her parents ,brother were only there for moral support,and she was aware of the fact that internally they were not pleased with her.These situations are pretty much common in the USA ,but Indian society is still way behind all these;the blame game would only be towards the lady and the society would not accept this. Some people would even cook up stories and also reason out that she had betrayed her husband and moved to the city and questions aroused about her character also.At times even she would be pressurised for a remarriage from her parents due to the social pressures,but she would ignore all these because the kids needed all her affection ,and also she needed time to come out of the previous circumstances.
            The kids grew up and it was already 5 years since all this happened ,and elder kid was in class 10 and younger in class 8.Now the kids were so understanding and loving ,that they too started to plead their mom to get married ,since they were bothered about her secure future in their absence when they grow up ans settle down with their jobs.The younger kid was particularly insistent on his mother getting married and was requesting her that he too had a wish to live in a ambiance of a" complete family".With not much of difficulty,a right match was found ,and the person she married had also 2 kids and was betrayed from his wife.He was understanding and caring ,the way she had dreamt her life mate should have been.Everyone where happy and they lived happily thereafter.
                        But wait, the story doesn't end here;as if god envied her happiness ,she had another disaster waiting.They had been to the picnic to a beach one fine day and when both the kids (younger one of the lady,and the younger one of the second husband)where playing ,her dearest child was engulfed and carried away into the ocean in fraction of seconds .the other kid who was also present there almost in par with him was safe.It was just bad fate.She was helpless and there was nobody who could fight the ocean and save him then ,because the tides were bad that day ,and they were not aware of the fact.So this is her present tense,and the story continues...
         2)  This is one of the instances of my husband's close friend who had a secure family life with mother and his brother staying at Bangalore at their own house,and they (wife and son)staying at USA .Life was going on smoothly and suddenly a bad news struck him regarding his brother's loss in his share marketing company ,and that all the loan lenders were pestering him to return their loans.As an elder brother and eldest in the family it was his duty to settle his brother's loans ,and so he had to spend all his life time savings on his brother;it was huge amount (1 .5 crores).He had also spent the previous year on his own house construction at Bangalore and also as a very helpful person, had spent 1000 's of dollars helping his friends in need.This was a huge financial hurdle for  him.Meanwhile, his son also was going through some sort of disturbance ,and was constantly complaining of stomach pains ,and one fine day while bathing him,his wife noticed a bulge on his stomach and felt there was something wrong .They took him to a doctor and after all the necessary diagnosis ,he was diagnosed with "cancer of the kidney" .The kid was just 4 years old and had to go through the process of surgical biopsy and then chemotherapy on  a weekly basis.Now that he was left helpless  financially ,he started requesting his money back from his friends ,and couldn't even get it back when needed;but somehow managed to receive the help from some other friends.His insurance limits had already crossed ,and he was spending thousands of dollars now,through the period of one year.  Chemotherapy proved successful and the child was recovered and even started going to school one month back.Now recently again we heard a news that the child had been for his regular check up,when the doctor noticed a "black radio dense circle" in the radio graph ,and suspected it to be some sort of infection ,and kept it under observation for 6 weeks.We tried convincing the parents ,and told them to have a positive approach ,and be affirmative that it could be an infection,and would subside.But after the painful 6 weeks wait on"bed of thorns" the parents came back from the doctor's visit ,with a diagnosis of "cancer in the lungs"and the scar which they saw ,had now started growing and  was 1 cm wide from 0.2 cm. Now the child is scheduled for another surgical biopsy on Monday,and then the story continues....
       These are few stories which I witnessed and there are few others which leave me very disturbed and I keep wondering "Life can have unexpected drastic uncertanities and twists in treasure "We have no control on life when the turmoil strikes. I recently happened to see a movie which had lines"Live each day as if it is your last day". I truely feel at times that this is true;having  a secure future is good,but bothering too much about future ,makes no sense.Enjoy your life at present as a  god's gift.

18 comments:

SG said...

Very sad. I have no idea how people face these things in life. I salute their courage.

A said...

Really really sad stories...we need to courage to handle these.

chitra said...

There are things really beyond our control.Is it destiny ? only God knows.

kavita said...

Very sad stories . Some things are beyond anyone's control .Eat,pray and love :):)

Abhilash Pillai said...

Great said Raji. Live for the present and not the future. However, try to make your future secure if it is in your hands.

The stories have a real-time touch. Good post.

rama said...

Very touching. I don't believe in destiny. If we stand to ask "Why", we would be standing there forever, we have to find the courage within ourselves and move on, for when happiness comes our way do we stand ask the same question, we just enjoy and move on. There are many reasons we go through certain unpleasant experiences in our life, only the person going through them can find the right answers.
We can only be a support to them, and be there for them when they need us.

raji said...

@ rama ,what u said is true.But there are a lot of theories to it saying each persons" karma"(present and past) is reflected by his sufferings or joys in this world.whatever it is ,life is all about how to face what is there ,and experience each moment oing on...Its easy to say..but thats how it sh be!

Bikramjit Singh Mann said...

YEs so true what you wrote and such sad stories , I dont know what to write ..

world is full of bad people and sometimes God seems to take there side more, which i dont understand there are people who do bad all the time and still have the best and some who suffer and still do good , and yet they suffer

SO wht i beleive is DO what i want to, when i want to , How to do it
life is precious and if people dont like me then its there bad luck..
we cant live life for someone elese the above stories prove that we should make the best of it all .



Bikram's Blog

R. Ramesh said...

mr friend rajshree...know what? i lov yr blog title..a cousin of mine rang me just now n v had a long chat..v had struggled together in Mumbai during the last decade..now he is an american citizen..v just remmbd our stuggle days..My bro who enjoyed life had a huge struggle during last two yrs n died..i was jus asking the same qustion u asked to my editor friend just now..why? why? no one has answered..so many of my frds n relatives have come n gone..why? what did they achieve? ooooff..too much deep philosphy..no one has answered..u have a wonderful blog here..buddy...best wishes...hey i just had a RCT treatment and it's so painful and i remembred u dear blog friends who happend to be dentists...hehe

raji said...

@ bikram ..its true even i agree ..there is no link for sufferings with gud /bad people .usually we say people with very gud will and gud deeds in life suffering the highest.

raji said...

@ ramesh .iam so sorry to hear about yr brother.This "why? "has so many presumptions ,but nobody can say the right answer for this!

krizna said...

The first para of the first story was well written. 'Unappealing education,post,status,appearance and attitude!' LOL :)
Well-said on the women front too...

Stranger said...

the stories made me so sad. I am still reeling under the loss of a loved one to cancer.

Life is so unpredictable. Why do we plan so much in advance? Sometimes I feel everything is useless, only live on a day to day basis since I am not sure whether I will get up tomorrow.

krizna said...

And do find time to dig up the story of 'the king' there. He's faced lots of tough times himself.

raji said...

@ stranger .hi welcome to my blog.truely said .most of us do wonder "why should we plan the future?".I have myself stopped bothering too much about future.

raji said...

@ udaya ,hey we have known him closely ,but from what i have
heard from our seniors(you know who)I heard that his earlier days were cool ,and he really was the"leader "and lot of people were surrounding him and had a huge fan following .

dr.antony said...

I can only say one thing.
Time is short.Eat the dessert first.

raji said...

@ dr,that was a nice nice note ..true very true!and the fact is tht i like sweets and practically also ,i eat the desert first!:)